It Was (not) a Very Good Year

For reasons that do not bear public scrutiny, this was a very hard year for me. Everyone has been going on about the greats we lost in 2016, too numerous to even mention here; but as a friend stated, she has hit grief overload. We’re old now, people we grew up knowing about are going to start to die more and more frequently, let’s get over it. I, however, have had a personally pretty crappy year. I have been muddling through, making my own path, finding my way. There are certain things I can control and others that I cannot. And despite my knowing that, I spend way too much time being tortured by the things I don’t have control over. That is one of my mental burdens. Sometimes I work against it, and sometimes I wallow. A tactic I turn to over and over again is to wait something out. It’s surprising how often it works. Although there is tremendous pain in the waiting, I am regularly rewarded for having waited. The problem with this tactic is that when it doesn’t work, it fails SPECTACULARLY. So, there is risk in everything. I have gone through fits and starts of brilliance in my struggle with this year though. I had a breathtaking bucket list trip to see the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in New Mexico, got my concert going back up to where I want it, redid my living room, figured out my weight issue, and started this blog!

 

 

“If you were perfect, you’d be bored” ~ Sara Maschino

So it is with great relief I bid 2016 adieu. I am still not certain that 2017 will bring me all the things I want, but I can have hope. I will continue to go to live music. I will make an effort to hang out with my friends. I will renew my intentions with my art. I will work out hard and continue to reshape my body. And I will live and love my life as best I can.

nye

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